Well, am off to wordpress with my blog, as have so many hiccups on here....the link is http://musingsofkhlari.wordpress.com/ See you there!

Every goth's nightmare- premature sunshine. How dare it be so disgustingly cheerful, when inside, my gothick soul is weeping?????

Some utter goth nonsense to cheer you (and me) up on a Friday afternoon. I'm so goth, in preschool, the only crayon I used was black. I'm so goth my black is blacker than your black. I call it "black black." I'm so goth, I don't say "black," I say "blahhwwwkkk." I'm so goth, whenever I walk into a room, all the lights go out. goth #1: I'm so goth the people in the grocery store have refused to sell me any cereal other than Count Chocula.goth #2: I'm so goth people ask me to AUTOGRAPH boxes of Count Chocula. I'm so goth I wear sunglasses when I open the refrigerator. I'm so goth I don't paint my nails black--I bash them with a hammer. I'm so goth I died and didn't notice. I'm so goth, whenever I knock on somebody's door they give me candy. I'm so goth, I'm not only "goth," but also "gothe" "goff" "gawth" "gauwth" "gothic" "gothik" "gothique" and "gawfickk" and soon I hope to be "gauewthickueu." I'm so goth, when I stop pouting, people ask, "What are YOU so happy about?" I'm so goth, when I go outside, the sun sets. goth #1: I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face have atrophied.goth #2: I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face never GREW.goth #3: What's a smile? I'm so goth I say things like "eternally yours in darkness" and "love and darkness" and "may the eternal darkness of the abyss enrapture and enshroud you in its infernal sickly sweet embrace." I'm so goth I don't use fabric softener, because I like pain. I'm so goth I set off airport metal detectors from ten feet away with all my jewelry. I'm so goth I'm the only REAL goth. I'm so goth it takes me an hour and a half to get dressed. I'm so goth it takes me longer to get UNdressed. I'm so goth I think electrical tape is a fashion accessory. I'm so goth, in preschool, all my drawings were titled, "DEATH." I'm so goth, in high school, all my papers were titled, "DEATH." I'm so goth I slather on spf 45 before I open the refrigerator. goth #1: I'm so goth I wonder if my dog's collar would look better on me.goth #2: I'm so goth I KNOW my dog's collar looks better on me.goth #3: I'm so goth I stole my dog's collar. I'm so goth I ate a Happy Meal . . . because I like to live dangerous. I'm so goth little kids are mesmerized by my appearance. I'm so goth I don't take my medications, so I can be more goth. I'm so goth, when I was born the doctor slapped me and I didn't cry. I'm so goth I make flowers wilt. I'm so goth I like them better that way. I'm so goth, when I smile people ask me what's wrong. I'm so goth little old ladies in walkers cross the street to insult me. I'm so goth I keep getting hit on by necrophiliacs! I'm so goth I practice my blank stare in the mirror. I'm so goth I have carpal tunnel syndrome from constantly putting the back of my hand to my forehead. I'm so goth that whenever I walk into a room, you hear "Toccata and Fugue in D minor." I'm so goth I listen to The Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus simultaneously at midnight in a graveyard sitting in a pentagram surrounded by candles . . . and oh, there's a full moon . . . and then I die. And then I come back to life. And then I die again . . . tragically. I'm so goth I have actually seriously uttered the phrase, "the darkest dark of the dark darkness." goth #1: I'm so goth, when I'm sleeping people come and check my pulse.goth #2: I'm so goth I don't have a pulse. I'm so goth I know what pvc stands for. I'm so goth the people at the suicide hotline have asked me to stop calling. I'm so goth nuns and priests resent me because I look cooler in black than them. I'm so goth tan lines are a sin. I'm so goth the dark is scared of ME. I'm so goth I know how to spell Siouxsie & The Banshees correctly. I'm so goth I became a fisherman, just so I could use fishnets. I'm so goth I sleep UNDER my bed. I'm so goth, Robert Smith asked ME for my autograph. I'm so goth I got a 12-pack of absinthe. I'm so goth I don't eat gummy bears, I eat "glummy bears." I'm so goth I spend every waking moment, every breath, in contemplation of Goth. The totality of my being is at one with the essence of Goth. I'm so goth I dot my i's with frowny faces. I'm so goth I call a smile a "concave frown." I'm so goth that when I was a toddler, I didn't cry over spilled milk, I MOURNED it. I'm so goth my skin would catch on fire if it were ever exposed to sunlight. I'm so goth I make Happy Meals cry. I'm so goth I spend hours deciding what shade of black to wear. I'm so goth I shower with bleach instead of soap. I'm so goth I have a fishnet umbrella. I'm so goth I always complain because my blacks don't match. I'm so goth that bats hang little plastic me's from their ceiling. I'm so goth that if I go out in the sunlight with bare skin showing, people have to put on shades because of the reflection off my pale skin. I'm so goth I have to wear sunglasses and sunscreen to look on the bright side. I'm so goth that lightning strikes whenever I count things. MUH-HA-HA-HA! I'm so goth that in kindergarten I sang "woe, woe, woe your boat..." I'm so goth I have crushed velvet lawn chairs. goth #1: I'm so goth I changed my name to Mystryss Darque Wintyr Nyght Rayn Ravyn.goth #2: I'm so goth I don't have a name. I'm just "goth." I'm so goth all I do is sit around and talk about how goth I am. I'm so goth I always use the word "goth" instead of "got." I'm so goth every sentence I say has the word "goth" in it. I'm so goth I'm the only person who understands what goth REALLY is, and I'm not telling you!

This was inspired by two things, a childhood visit to Paris and my experience later of working there...................

Stationary The small girl in the red velvet trouser suit smiling shyly into the sun, blonde hair shining. As the Eiffel tower shoots skywards, behind her. Faded print put carefully in battered bag Rain is falling, maybe tears, can no longer tell. Climbs the long green steps, to the clanking line 6. The photo, last thing that remains of her self. Pulls aching body up the stairs of Bir-Hakeim, heavy bag in hands, doesn’t want to go home. Tired and cold, but he will be at home by now He who shouts, he who hits, he who screams, he who....... In any case, nowhere else to go. So cold. His pastis clinks on her knees, on the platform, while the October wind whips along the long quais. The tower above cold and mocking, imperious, Memory of hopes now but a faded dream, fantasies crack, splinter, to smithereens, spiral, evaporate in freezing air by the Seine. Join the bottomless maelstrom of broken hopes, ruined lives, hovering vulture-like over Paris, promising stardust, giving but broken glass. “Le prochain train desservira ...” the voice intones. The litany, all stations to Nation, the green metro clanks laboriously into sight. Lifts the bags, struggles with the silver handle, hears the lengthy hiss, sighing as she mounts the train. Saved in one way, at a high price though, her self.

This was written as part of my MA Poetry submission. I was intrigued by the idea of where you could mourn somone who had no logical grave, like a sailor lost at sea, or a stillborn baby. This is also about the child that I lost before I had Morgane........

The tears I never cried Where can I begin to cry for you? In death, as in so brief fluttering life, you have never had a place to rest. As if wiping away your presence, could have made you not exist to me. Would ever take you away from me. Eight hours, of bitter lies, and deceit, screaming unheard into that long night, where they slapped my face to shut me up, shouted whether I could understand, left me alone so it was too late. We weren’t worth the trouble, or the drugs. I tried and tried, to hold on to you, to keep you with me by pure will, wishing you to stay, safe, and alive. like holding water in my fingers slipped through, despite me holding you back. Rain of blood and recriminations When I asked if I could see you, then brought you in a white plastic bucket. I asked if I could hold you, they laughed. Took you away, put with the rubbish. Left with the milk flowing down my front, hollow, full of blood, and uncried tears, Empty-armed in the nursery, the scent of the new mothers’ flowers, waiting Whilst they prepared me the final bill.

This is a poem inspired partly by Henry Reed's war poem. I saw this not as the Naming of Parts of a gun, but as two lovers naming the parts of each other, both from different backgrounds, and each in their own language.

The Naming of Parts Tonight, we have naming of parts. Ce soir, nous avons l'appellation des pièces Your hand guiding mine to point out the details Ta main, guidant la mienne pour préciser les détails often forgotten in simple dictionaries. souvent oubliés en dictionnaires simples Your finger delicately tracing the curves Ton doigt traçant délicatement les courbes of my body, and mine those of yours. de mon corps, et le mien ceux à vous With every touch, elucidating complex vocabulary avec chaque contact, élucidant le vocabulaire complexe This curve, the breast, the next, the nipple, Cette courbe, le sein, le prochain, le mamelon, the bellybutton, the vagina, and the clitoris. le nombril, le vagin, et le clitoris. Strange in effect how all of these are male Bizarre, en effet comment tous ces derniers sont masculins. These all seem too formal with our familiarity, Ces tous semblent trop formels avec notre connaissance, As if we were vousvoying, between the sheets, Comme si nous vousvoyaient, sous les draps, or addressed each other as Mr and Miss so and so. ou s’adressaient comme M. et Mlle aintel. Our words should be as close as our warm bodies, Nos mots devraient être aussi familiers que nos corps chauds, as near and eager as our ruby lips, aussi proches et désireux que nos lèvres rouges, As wild, and willing as our wanton flesh. aussi sauvages, et voulantes que notre chair dévergondée. Our mouths do not speak the same language Nos bouches ne parlent pas la même langue and struggle with the sounds of each others’, et lutte avec les bruits l'uns de l'autre but our bodies need no Esperanto. mais nos corps n'ont besoin d'aucun espéranto. So, tonight, we have the naming of parts, Ainsi, ce soir, nous avons l'appellation des pièces, The decrypting of the body, le déchiffrage du corps, often omitted from simple dictionaries. souvent omis des dictionnaires simples. Some might call it the language of the gutter Il y certains qui peuvent l’appeler la langue des égouts I say that it’s our bodies’ own way Moi, je dis que c’est le façon de nos propres corps Their own way of naming the parts Leurs propres methodes de l’appellation des pièces I think we’ll start here with tits or boobs Je pense que nous commencerons ici par les nénés ou des lolos two little things with many synonyms deux petites choses avec beaucoup de synonymes then gradually work our way down puis graduellement travailler notre manière vers le bas in descending order, we have the ass dans l'ordre décroissant, nous avons le cul Not to be confused with the cock à ne pas confondre avec la queue Which would be a disastrous mistake qui serait une erreur désastreuse Here finishes the lesson Ici finit la leçon No Bescherelle for us today aucun Bescherelle pour nous aujourd'hui for tonight we have the naming of parts pour le ce soir que nous avons l'appellation des pièces Tonight Mr Willy and Mrs Fanny Ce soir M. Zigounette et Mme Foufounette will cross the Channel of Incomprehension vont croiser la Manche de l'incompréhension and nothing will be lost in the translation et rien ne serait perdu dans la traduction

These little beauties are the Gothic Powerpuff Girls, as sent to me by Simon.....they just made me laugh!